The last time I saw Jack

That night I was having a lot of dreams, but one really stuck with me.  We were in a ‘wilderness-like’ area.  There was a sandy road, a lot of trees and two concrete-bunker-like bus stops facing each other, one on each side of the road.  Everything was wet because it had recently rained.  It was very peaceful.

My friend Marty and I were in one of the bus stops and someone who I thought was a friend of Jack’s in the other.  Jack’s friend seemed ‘distant’ – I couldn’t quite make out his face, but he looked familiar.

I was lying down on the concrete bench and Marty was sitting.

Jack’s friend was talking about someone, reciting all their good qualities.  Before long, I figured-out that he was talking about my father.    Then I realized that Jack’s friend knew my dad and didn’t know that my father died a few years back. The thought of having to tell him that my father was dead really upset me and I began to cry.

At that moment, I woke from the dream and I was crying just as I was in the dream.  It wasn’t a deep sobbing cry, but a very cathartic cry that had me feeling good, if a bit disoriented.  It was 4am.

Later that day, while I was working, I got the news.  Marty called me and said that Jack died during the night.  Jack had been sick for a few months and as he was in hospice care, we knew the end was near.

Marty’s voice revealed his pain, upset that Jack died and also, that we didn’t get to see him before he died – we were planning to visit him the following weekend.

I had one of those work days where I didn’t have a moment to myself all day.  Finally when the day ended and I was descending into the train station, I had time to sort-out the all that had happened.  While the wind from the oncoming trains did help to dry my tears, there seemed to be an endless supply to replace them.

Once seated on the train I began to think about my dream.  I started thinking that maybe Jack’s friend was really a character that was “composite” of Jack, with all the good qualities that Jack had.  But not being content with that explanation, I continued to ponder my dream.  I theorized that maybe the dream was a visit from Jack, before he passed on to his next journey.  I really don’t know which it is.

No, I really do know.

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